Just by chance I happened to flip to the Oprah channel last Sunday. She had a guest on who was talking about her new book.....blah..blah...blah...heard it all before, but for some reason it struck the 'insightful' cord for me. The 'be in the moment' and 'what is this tragedy teaching me?', ad nauseum.
For a moment I thought, yeah, I forgot about all that stuff and lost it in anger. It's so much easier to be angry than to trust that this reality is the way it's supposed to be right now. I'll survive and gain the (whatever) from this series of experiences. Armed with this powerful re-indoctrination to the spiritual realm and having had a genuinely peaceful visit with my mom today I pulled the car over to watch the ocean and reflect on these 'profound-refound' concepts.
What could be more perfect than capturing this moment with a picture of the ocean and soothing waves? This will add to the profoundness of the 'whatever' of my moment. Getting in the way of my perfect camera/phone photo opportunity, were two women frantically trying to capture a stray dog. And I'm thinking, jeesh, I just want to take a picture to share my treasured new found insights here. Man, let me take my picture first and then I'll help you chase the dog.
Moments later I'm in my car following the stray at the bequest of the two women. Interesting how many passerby (yes this is the plural of the word according to: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/passerby) were getting involved. At this point I'm thinking, okay maybe this is the lesson, strangers coming together for a common good, blah..blah...blah...but I really want to take that picture.
So driving slow and dangerously ...I see the dog dart across the busy street from the beach.
Stopping where I think I saw him hide I once again park and see one of the two women who had just cornered the dog by closing him behind the gate of the U.S. Post Office's employee parking lot. Without their permission of course.
The poor dog was so scared he jumped on top of a parked car and peed himself. Panicking the woman asked me to drive to the local pet store to get a leash so we could 'rescue' the poor dog. "Okay", said I, and off to the pet store I went. Ten minutes, $9.00 and 4 treats later I return after driving fast and dangerously. I arrived leash and treats in hand to an open gated, nearly empty parking lot. I approached the lone person in lot asking: "Do you know what happened to the dog and the people here?" to which he replied, "Yeah, they got a rope and took the dog with them." so I asked him if he wanted a new leash.
Whatever epiphany I was having at the nursing home has now exited my brain and I'm thinking, crap, at least John Quinones, you know the guy from "What Would You Do?" ( you good Samaritan you -or is it you fool you?) could have least ambushed me for doing a good deed.
So screw you Oprah and your life classes - save me from epiphanies.
http://www.oprah.com/packages/aha-moments.html
Patti's real life lessons:
1. You can drive fast or drive slow, just don't drive dangerously.
2. If by chance you think you have an Oprah aha moment and understand the true meaning of life, tragedy and how you fit into it all, write it down immediately. Otherwise it may just fly right out of your brain and you'll have to do all that ridiculous pondering again.
3. If someone tells you to go to the local pet store and get a leash, you can always say: "NO, let's explore alternatives that don't include spending MY money and ask those guys over there in the loading dock if they have some rope."
4. Sometimes things just suck and you have to deal with it, being a grown-up is hard work.
5. Chasing a stray dog is hard work.
6. John Quinones is never going to 'catch' me on film doing what I think is the right thing to do, so I just HAVE to do it because it's the right thing to do.
7. When you see 2 or more strangers panicking - you don't have to ask: "Is everything okay?"
8. Buying a leash at the request of a total stranger will not guarantee me a space in Doggy Heaven, no matter how badly I want to be there.
On The Flip Side:
1. A scared, stray dog was taken out of harm's way.
2. Complete strangers did come together to help the helpless.
3. My dog and his friends enjoyed the treats that I didn't get to use to lure the stray dog close enough to leash.
4. For about 30 minutes today I wasn't worrying about my mom.
5. I now have a spare inexpensive, electric blue leash-just in case I run across another stray.
6. Oprah is not a true goddess, but I did need the reminder from her to rekindle my fading faith, so aha to the 'whatever'. Yes, I am a grown-up.
Wrapped In Make-Believe
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Wrapped In Make-Believe - Lost In Dementia
"Are you cold mom?"
"NO, I'm wrapped in........Make-Believe."
Greetings All and welcome to my serious brand of "In-sanity". I am doing this for me in an attempt to re-gain some balance in my life. Thank you for reading and exploring this difficult walk through dementia with a loved one with me.
My mom was diagnosed with dementia several years ago, but we'll talk about that later. Let me tell you about today and yesterday first. She was placed in a skilled nursing care facility several days ago due to a horrible urinary tract infection (UTI) accompanied by a rapid decline in cognition and hallucinations.
Her first day there, I placed a blanket around her shoulders as she sat in a wheelchair. She looked so afraid and fragile. As I placed the blanket around her I asked: "Mom are you cold?" to which she replied: "No I'm wrapped..." and paused. She then placed her hands to each side of the blanket and I could tell she was searching for the right words "in a blanket" and finally said.....'Make-Believe'. At that moment I knew I needed to write about the wrenching pain, humour and irony of this horrific moment. So here I am. Just for today I will take a moment for myself without worry, thought or pain....
"NO, I'm wrapped in........Make-Believe."
Greetings All and welcome to my serious brand of "In-sanity". I am doing this for me in an attempt to re-gain some balance in my life. Thank you for reading and exploring this difficult walk through dementia with a loved one with me.
My mom was diagnosed with dementia several years ago, but we'll talk about that later. Let me tell you about today and yesterday first. She was placed in a skilled nursing care facility several days ago due to a horrible urinary tract infection (UTI) accompanied by a rapid decline in cognition and hallucinations.
Her first day there, I placed a blanket around her shoulders as she sat in a wheelchair. She looked so afraid and fragile. As I placed the blanket around her I asked: "Mom are you cold?" to which she replied: "No I'm wrapped..." and paused. She then placed her hands to each side of the blanket and I could tell she was searching for the right words "in a blanket" and finally said.....'Make-Believe'. At that moment I knew I needed to write about the wrenching pain, humour and irony of this horrific moment. So here I am. Just for today I will take a moment for myself without worry, thought or pain....
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